Good Days
by Darkbrokenreaper
Summary: Lan Yuan loves good days. He spends the whole day with his mother and father and it is filled with warmth and laughter. Lan Yuan absolutely loves good days. But just as there are good days, there are also bad days. Also: What would have happened if Lan Wangji had not taken "no" as an answer when he asked Wei Ying to come back to Gusu with him.
1. Chapter 1

Lan Yuan loves good days.

On good days, he will be woken up by his father instead of the attendants. The other children will look at him with envy and awe as the Han Guang-Jun glides into their quarters like an untouchable immortal being and proceeds to wake him up and help him get ready for the day. After washing and getting dressed, his father takes him to eat his morning meal with his uncle and his granduncle. The food is bland and uninspired but it is leagues better than the fare he had at Yiling so Lan Yuan eats without complaint. Besides, the faster he finishes his food, the faster he will see his mother.

Lan Yuan is nearly vibrating when Lan Wangji picks him up from his seat and walks down the various paths that will take them to their destination. The weather is temperate today and Lan Yuan hopes that they can have the midday meal outside. Maybe his father will even take them both out to see the bunnies. Lan Yuan loves bunnies. But not as much as he loved his mother of course!

"There's my baby!" Wei Wuxian brightens at the sight of Lan Yuan bolting out of his father's arms and into his mother's wide-open ones. They instantly fold around him and Lan Yuan feels the safest in his mother's arms, "My beautiful A-Yuan! How have you been?"

"Mama!" Lan Yuan cuddles into his mother's embrace. He adores the scent of lotuses and spice that seems to permeate through his robes and snuggles even closer to Wei Wuxian's chest. "I practiced my flute just like I promised! Will you listen to me play?"

"Did you?" Wei Wuxian chuckles indulgently, smoothing a soft hand in his child's unruly hair. "I can't wait to hear you play. As a matter of fact, let's all play a song together. Lan Zhan!"

"Yes, Wei Ying," Lan Wangji already has his guqin brought out and settled on his lap. His father is not smiling—he rarely ever does—but Lan Yuan can see the gentle look of affection he directs at Wei Wuxian.

He spends the whole day with his mother and father and it is filled with warmth and laughter. Lan Yuan absolutely loves good days.

* * *

But just as there are good days, there are also bad days.

On bad days, no matter how much Lan Yuan cries or screams or throws nasty temper tantrums, he cannot see his mother. The attendants get him ready in the morning and he spends the day with his uncle in his office. Uncle Lan Xichen is kind but also really boring, nothing like his mischievous fun-loving mother who plays with him and makes up new games when he tires of the old ones. If he inquires about seeing his mother, he is met with gentle refusal and distracted with a new toy or lesson. If he persists, he is punished with sitting in a corner for a few minutes.

Bad days are dull and filled with unsettling quiet that makes Lan Yuan feel itchy inside, like a million ants are crawling under his skin. He hates them because he can't be with his mother or his father. Uncle Lan Xichen tries his best to entertain him with interesting tidbits or with long strolls throughout the Sect grounds but it's not the same as being in his mother's embrace or playing the guqin with his father.

On one such Bad Day, Lan Yuan is struck by the need to see his parents this instant. Though Lan Yuan is still rather young, he is also relatively mild-mannered (temper tantrums aside) so he often has a lot of leeway in terms of playing independently by himself. So when an attendant calls Uncle Lan Xichen out to attend to a quick matter after the evening meal, Lan Yuan waits until he can no longer hear their footsteps and quietly slips out of the office and takes the familiar path to the Jingshi.

He can see the glow of lantern light behind the screen door which means that his mother and father are definitely inside.

Wei Wuxian is sitting completely still in front of Lan Wangji, not a trace of emotion on his normally emotive features. It is utterly bizarre to see such a cold, distant look on his ordinarily kindhearted face and for a moment, Lan Yuan thinks he's looking at a doll instead of a person. The table between them is laden with all sorts of heavily spiced delicacies, the sort of fare that they don't usually get in the Gusu Lan Sect. There are also a few jars of alcohol and beautifully decorated vessels filled with tea so fragrant, Lan Yuan can smell it from his hiding place outside the screen door.

He aches to burst into the room and demand attention as all little children are prone to do but something about the somber tension between the two holds him back.

"I made all your favorites," Lan Wangji says conversationally as he places some choice bits of meat and vegetables in Wei Wuxian's bowl. "Have some before it gets cold."

Wei Wuxian remains impassive, inscrutable eyes watching Lan Wangji's every move. He doesn't lift a hand to pick up his own bowl even as Lan Wangji begins to take small measured bites of his own meal.

"I've talked with the attendants," Lan Wangji says, "They say you haven't been eating properly."

Wei Wuxian remains silent though Lan Yuan can see the sudden sharp dissonance in his mother's storm gray eyes.

"Let me pour you some tea," Lan Wangji murmurs quietly as he reaches toward Wei Wuxian's teacup. Before his fingers can touch the fine porcelain though, it is swiped off the table in one sudden violent motion. The sound of shattering pottery startles Lan Yuan who claps a hand over his mouth to stop the scream from bubbling in his throat.

When he looks back at his parents, he sees that they have not moved. Both of their hands are still outstretched toward the center of the table.

"Do you honestly think that I would willingly drink anything you hand me?" Wei Wuxian questions with thinly veiled anger. It must have been the trick of the light because Lan Yuan could have sworn that red was sparking in his mother's irises before hastily being extinguished and he crumples to the floor with a groan of pain. "Do you think I don't know about the poisons keeping me docile so that I remain your submissive little wife?"

The question seems to strike something deep within his father because Lan Yuan can see the utter devastation written in every line of his noble features even as his father hurries over to his mother's side to help him up and back into his seat.

"Wei Ying!" Lan Wangji exclaims worriedly. His golden eyes hold a world of hurt even as he pours yet another cup of tea for Wei Wuxian. "Please, just drink this and you'll be better!"

"I'm not eating a single thing you put in front of me!" Wei Wuxian screams and swipes everything off the table. The sound is so loud that Lan Yuan nearly falls onto his bottom in shock. He has never seen his mother so furious before and it scares him so much.

"It's for your own good," Lan Wangji begins.

"It's always for my own good!" Wei Wuxian spits out bitterly, eyes flashing as they stare hatefully at Lan Wangji. "Just you wait. As soon as I figure out how to undo these suppression seals, I will take A-Yuan and disappear from here for good. You will never see us ever again once I find a way to escape from this hell hole."

"Wei Ying, please!" Lan Wangji begs, fragmented and vulnerable before the other man's disdain. "You are safe here. A-Yuan is safe here. I am trying to protect you."

"You're just like your father!"

The statement hangs in the air between the both of them, the look on Lan Wangji's face is one of stunned silence while Wei Wuxian's is one of slight regret but quickly morphs into something hard and fierce.

"That's right," Wei Wuxian says scornfully. Once he has started, he finds that he cannot stop himself, "Your brother told me about how your father trapped your mother in a little cottage out to 'protect' her from your sect's wrath, how you were only able to visit her once a month. And now you're doing the same to me!"

"It's different!" Lan Wangji insists, drawing closer to Wei Wuxian in an effort to calm him and pull him into his arms. Wei Wuxian avoids his arms, slapping away Lan Wangji's hands before they can make contact.

"How is this any different?" Wei Wuxian questions in a scathing tone, eyes narrowing in challenge. "You didn't lift a finger to save any of the Wen Clan during the siege and trapped me and A-Yuan in this place where your word is law. Face it, Lan Wangji. We're your prisoners. Stop deluding yourself into thinking that this is anything like a proper family."

"Please, Wei Ying," Lan Wangji says, completely broken. "I love you. I love you and I love A-Yuan."

All the tension drains out of Wei Wuxian. His hands drop limply to his sides and he turns away from Lan Wangji, defeat in every curve of his drained body.

"I don't love you," Wei Wuxian replies quietly, exhausted.

Lan Yuan doesn't know what is going on but he knows that his mother is very angry at his father for something very bad. No child wants to see their parents fighting so Lan Yuan quickly bursts into the room, cheeks turning red from his distress. He stumbles and falls to the floor, skinning his knees on the wood in his haste.

"Mama?" Lan Yuan finally calls out, tears dripping from his face from both the pain and his grief.

Both of them freeze and turn to the small child sitting on the ground.

"A-Yuan, you're not supposed to be here," Lan Wangji is quick to pick Lan Yuan up in his arms. A broad hand is placed protectively over his back and quiet soothing murmurs are whispered in his ear.

Lan Yuan peers over his father's shoulder to his mother who avoids their gaze.

"I want mama!" A-Yuan cries even louder, his hands stretching out over Lan Wangji's shoulder for Wei Wuxian.

Wei Wuxian finally looks up and the look on his mother's face is shattered. It only makes Lan Yuan cry even harder and thrust his arms out farther in an effort to reach Wei Wuxian.

"It's time for bed," Lan Wangji says, "You can see Mama tomorrow."

* * *

By the time they have made it to the children's quarters, Lan Yuan has stopped crying but his head is still stuffed with thoughts of what he has just seen.

"Why was Mama so mad at you?" Lan Yuan asks when his father sets him down in bed. "Why was Mama so sad?"

"Wei Ying was just tired and hungry," Lan Wangji explains to him patiently as he pulls up the covers and tucks him in. "Your mother comes from Yunmeng Jiang Sect and he is not used to the foods here at Gusu Lan."

It is an obvious excuse and Lan Yuan is too clever for his own good to not see through it.

"But Mama said something about suppression seals," Lan Yuan persists even though he feels something bad and wrong settling in the pit of his stomach. "What are suppression seals and why does it make Mama so angry?"

Lan Wangji remains quiet for a moment. His golden eyes are indefinitely sad and melancholic.

"A-Yuan," Lan Wangji finally says, "You love your mother?"

Lan Yuan nods. He knows Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are not his real mother and father. His granny had once described to him what his real mother and father looked like and how they had cared for him as a baby only to die before he could walk. But he likes think that if his mother and father were still alive then they would teach him to play the flute and sing him soft lullabies like Wei Wuxian does or feed him sweet soup and buy him as many toys as he wants like Lan Wangji does.

"And you want him to stay with us always?"

Another nod.

"Those suppression seals are there to ensure that Wei Ying will always be together with us," Lan Wangji explains in a gentle tone. "They are there to make sure Wei Ying will remain your mother and my wife."

"But Mama doesn't look happy," Lan Yuan replies unsurely as he is tucked under the covers. "He said he didn't love you, father. Why did he say that?"

As far as Lan Yuan knew, mothers and fathers loved each other. He thought his parents were the same. To hear his mother say otherwise was extremely disconcerting.

"Wei Ying is having a hard time adjusting, that's all," his father smooths a hand in his hair. "Tomorrow, he will be in a much better mood and we can go out and have a picnic with the rabbits."

"Mama seemed really angry though," Lan Yuan tries again. "What if he's still angry tomorrow?"

"Lan Yuan!" Lan Wangji says authoritatively, patience clearly worn thin by his constant barrage of questions. "Enough questions. It is past your bedtime."

Lan Yuan is cowed by the unexpected harshness in his father's voice.

"I'm sorry, A-Yuan," his father sighs. The esteemed Jade of Gusu Lan looks worn down and weary like the slightest wind could knock him down right now. "Wei Ying will be better tomorrow. I will ensure it so go to sleep and I will be here in the morning to wake you up."

"… Alright," Lan Yuan finally acquiesces even though the sick wrong feeling still sticks in his belly. "Good night, Father. I love you."

"I love you too, A-Yuan," some warmth seems to return to his father's eyes and in a rare show of affection, his father presses a kiss to his forehead. "Good night."

And just like that the knot untwists in Lan Yuan's chest and he relaxes under the covers.

As the door slides shut and plunges the room in welcoming darkness, Lan Yuan hopes tomorrow will be a good day.


	2. Chapter 2

Lan Wangji loves him.

Wei Wuxian wishes this weren't true.

* * *

Wei Wuxian is not dead.

He's groggy and aching from whatever the hell happened to land him in this situation but he's definitely not dead and that is the worst possible outcome he could have hoped for.

"Wei Ying," an achingly familiar voice calls out to him softly. Elegant jade fingertips touch his hand and slide up to palpate his wrist.

He's still disoriented so it takes him a moment to process his surroundings but once he does, his eyes slide tightly shut as he groans out loud. It's a fucking shame that Wei Wuxian can place exactly where he is by the architecture that he's seen so many times in his long forgotten youth. Even worse that he can place that voice by the amount of condemnation he has received from it over the years.

Scratch that. _Now_ it is the worst possible outcome he could have hoped for.

What Wei Wuxian doesn't understand is why he's here instead of rotting in a dark cell deep within the bowels of the earth or with his decapitated decomposing head stuck on a pike for the ravens to pick at. There is no way the righteous Gusu Lan sect would let him off easy after the disasters he has wrought against the cultivation world.

"Wei Ying," the voice rouses him again ever so gently. "Are you awake?"

Unfortunately, no matter how much he tries to ignore the sound of that voice, he's not going to avoid the inevitable confrontation, so he opens his mercurial eyes to glower at the man hovering over him.

"You," Wei Wuxian hisses out in between his clenched teeth as he glares at Lan Wangji. He attempts to weakly rise from his supine position on the bed, but his trembling arms fail him halfway and he falls back down with a dull thump on the soft bedding. It knocks the breath out of him and for a moment, the world turns a bit spotty.

A hand swiftly comes to assist him and the only reason he allows this gesture is because he is too weakened to bat it away. He's propped into a sitting position with such care that it instantly puts him on edge. Lan Wangji fusses around him, drawing the covers up where they've fallen in his lap and tucking them around his body to keep him swaddled and warm.

"Where am I?" Wei Wuxian asks after a beat, "What happened to the Wen clan?"

"You're in the Jingshi in the Cloud Recesses," Lan Wangji answers in the softest voice Wei Wuxian has ever heard him use in his presence. "You are safe."

The deliberate way that Lan Wangji doesn't answer his second question is telling. A cold bolt of fear strikes Wei Wuxian's heart but he quashes it down before it can show on his face.

"That's a load of bullshit," he scoffs and then winces when the action stretches some sort of injury all over his torso. Actually… his entire body burns for some reason. Wei Wuxian knows he must have injured something—his lack of a golden core meant that his heightened senses and foundation are no longer what they used to be—but he shouldn't be this sore. He had gone through battle after battle with his intestines half falling out of his abdominal cavity once and it had barely fazed him. Just as he is about to take stock of his own body, a cautious hand lands in the crook of his elbow, fluttering unsure like a nervous butterfly coming to rest at a blooming flower.

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji begins carefully, "I need you to remain calm."

Something in the man's tone makes the bottom drop out from Wei Wuxian's belly.

"What do you mean-?" Wei Wuxian replies before a hint of red on the back of his hand attracts his attention. He freezes and stares motionlessly at his appendage before quickly yanking up the sleeve of his own robes with a trembling hand. The breath is stolen from his lungs as his pupils shrink into mere pinpricks.

No, this can't be. He refuses to believe it.

"What have you done to me?" Wei Wuxian questions in horror as he stares at the red ink crawling along his fingers and down his limbs.

"It was the only way I could keep you safe," Lan Wangji explains with a heavy heart.

Wei Wuxian pulls open his own robes and sees similar markings all over his own chest. He tries to summon up some resentful energy but before his hatred can bubble to the surface, it's snuffed out like a candle and he's left with a piercing headache that has him doubled over, gasping for breath.

Dear God, it's like someone drove a couple of ten inch nails deep into his skull, it hurts so fucking bad. It takes a while before the sensation abates to something more tolerable.

"You've ruined me," Wei Wuxian whispers. He clutches his head in agony and flinches away when Lan Wangji moves to touch him.

"Wei Ying," Lan Wangji pleads. "Demonic cultivation is wrong. It was hurting you and you were dying."

"And what do you call this?" Wei Wuxian points at his own temple where the pain seems to radiate from.

"It was a necessary precaution," Lan Wangji tries again to coax him into seeing his perspective. As far as Wei Wuxian is concerned, Lan Wangji can take his damned perspective and shove it where the sun don't shine.

"I need to get out of here," Wei Wuxian murmurs deliriously to himself, fingernails digging into his skin like he can rip the goddamned seals off his body if he tries hard enough. "I need to find the Wens. I need to find Wen Ning and A-Yuan. I left A-Yuan alone in the middle of the forest."

"You need to rest," Lan Wangji urges, trying to pin him down but Wei Wuxian is not having it.

"Get lost!" Wei Wuxian screams hysterically, silver eyes blazing. "Get lost right now!"

The words are a mirror of the ones he had thrown at Lan Wangji at the Burial Mounds and Wei Wuxian knows this. His expression must look menacing enough because Lan Wangji only bunches his fists at his outburst and turns to leave with a flutter of white sleeves.

Once the wooden door is shut, Wei Wuxian desperately wracks his brain for his next plan of action. He needs to get out of here. There is no way in hell he is going to stay here and wait for whatever condemnation these Gusu pricks are going to rain down upon him. He needs to find out what happened to his little ragtag village in Yiling and the Wens though he dreads that he will not find much considering how the siege had been going.

And A-Yuan, he had to find his little A-Yuan. He left the poor child in the hollow of a tree with explicit instructions not to leave. God knows how long he had been unconscious and how long A-Yuan must have been waiting by now, tired and hungry and alone. He is going to march right out of here, suppression seals and sect rules be damned.

At the thought of those thrice damned sect rules, an unbridled rage rises to the back of his throat. Wei Wuxian doesn't have his demonic cultivation anymore but he hasn't survived this long to be thwarted by something like this.

He needs to come up with a plan though but his head is pounding from the previous violent headache and the lack of sustenance these past few days. His throat is parched dry from the days spent in his coma like state. Spotting a jar of Emperor's Smile on the table, he stumbles to it on shaky legs and pours the contents straight into his mouth.

This is his first and most fatal mistake.

He should have been more alert. He should have actually _thought_ about why the hell Lan Wangji would have left a jar of illicit alcohol lying so obviously on his table like it was meant for him, waiting for him to drink it. Like a fool, he swallows the poison so generously placed for him and suddenly, the turmoil in his brain just… stops.

All of it just…

Stops.

Everything fades into the background. Every bit of pain and anguish boiling in his heart just… disappears and he feels unfettered, lightweight and buoyed like the world suddenly became ten times brighter and lighter. Nothing about him has changed though, Wei Wuxian still remembers the siege, the sight of the Wens being cut down in front of him and the fierce corpses going out of control, his shijie bleeding to death in his arms, and Jiang Cheng's fury. But it's like the stress and the worry and the sadness in his heart becomes muted. Why had he been so sad before?

"Wei Ying?" Lan Wangji asks in a small, quiet voice. The man is standing by the screen door, every line of his body hesitant. Wei Wuxian draws in a quick inhalation as he takes in the jade like beauty staring longingly back at him.

Warmth suffuses his body and Wei Wuxian had forgotten that he could feel like this. Loved. Cared for. Adored.

Had Lan Zhan always looked this handsome, Wei Wuxian wonders with a bit of surprise. Why hasn't he realized how beautiful Lan Zhan is? Why hasn't he noticed the way Lan Zhan looks at him like Wei Wuxian himself hung the very moon and stars?

"Lan Zhan?" Wei Wuxian breathes out in awe. "Lan Zhan, you're…"

"Yes?" the Twin Jade of Gusu Lan approaches him, hope tinging his voice. Golden eyes are still looking at him with that same worship, like Wei Wuxian is his entire world.

Wei Wuxian cannot recall the last time someone has looked at him with so much love in their being. Hell, Wei Wuxian can't recall anyone who called him "Wei Ying" in the same adoring tone that Lan Wangji does. He doesn't think anyone ever will again.

The thought sends a ripple of heat through Wei Wuxian and he can feel his heart expand in his chest.

"You're so beautiful," he finally manages to whisper.

Lan Wangji's entire being softens and immediately molds around Wei Wuxian as if he's trying to fuse two beings into one. Arms come up to encircle him and embrace him tight. Wei Wuxian buries his face into Lan Wangji's robes and inhales the comforting scent of sandalwood that radiates soothingly from the other man. He's reminded of the period they spend in the Library Pavilion, the same scent that had tinged the air and cast such a dreamlike quality over those memories.

"Wei Ying, I love you," Lan Zhan confesses. His voice is a deep tenor, each word given immeasurable weight, "I have always loved you. Ever since we were children, I have loved you."

Wei Wuxian feels his cheeks turning pink as he processes Lan Zhan's words.

The light buoyant feeling doesn't last for very long though as he catches sight of the red seals on his body again and he frowns but Lan Wangji quickly catches his hand and presses a bold kiss to the back of one red seal.

"These are necessary," Lan Wangji says in a strong, urgent voice. "Please, Wei Ying. I need you to understand that this is for your own good. I only want what is best for you. I love you so much."

And just like that, the liquid warmth is back, dripping down Wei Wuxian's spine like the warmth of Emperor's Smile sliding down his throat. Melting under Lan Wangji's touch.

Wei Wuxian finds that he cannot resist that tempting voice and he obediently nods along with what Lan Zhan says. Lan Zhan is only looking out for Wei Wuxian; he wouldn't do anything that would harm him. Lan Zhan loves him so much and he only wants to keep him safe.

In the back of his mind, he can hear something—someone—screaming at him but it seems to distant that it is almost muted. Nothing matters anymore except what Lan Zhan tells him.

"I understand," Wei Wuxian acquiesces readily. That something screams even louder, enough to break through to him just a bit. It reminds him of a niggling thought and silver eyes snap up. "A-Yuan! Where is A-Yuan! I left him in the mountains!"

He pushes himself away from Lan Zhan but Lan Zhan is quick to hush him, rubbing his back to calm him down.

"It's alright," Lan Zhan pulls him back into the cradle of his arms. "I found him. I found A-Yuan. I brought him back with us and he's with the healers now. He had a very slight fever but our son is safe, beloved."

"Our son?"

"Yes, our son," Lan Zhan says firmly. "Our little Lan Yuan."

"Lan Yuan," Wei Wuxian repeats in a faint voice. "Our son."

The words sit pleasantly on his tongue and they light up every fiber of his being. He has a family. He has a beautiful, righteous man who loves him and a young, wonderful son whom they dote on. The thought fills every crevice of his mind, thrusting the memories of turmoil to the very back of it. This is what he's wanted ever since he was a child on the street, fighting for every scrap of food in order to survive a few extra days. As long as he has Lan Wangji and Lan Yuan, all is well with the world.

"You must rest now," Lan Zhan tells him, ushering him back to bed. "You've had a long day. I will wake you up for the morning meal."

Wei Wuxian bears with being tucked in again for the second time that day. Lan Wangji stands up as if to leave but Wei Wuxian snags the edge of Lan Zhan's sleeve. Golden eyes meet hesitant silver.

"Can you stay with me?" Wei Wuxian asks in a small vulnerable voice, "I don't want to be alone right now."

The request seems to surprise Lan Zhan before he softens.

"I would love nothing more," Lan Zhan smiles and Wei Wuxian is near breathless from the sheer beauty of it. He is really lucky to have caught the eye of such a wonderful man.

He quickly shuffles over and pats the vacated space beside him expectantly. The indulgent smile never leaves Lan Zhan's face as the man strips down to his inner robes and slides into bed next to Wei Wuxian. Immediately, Wei Wuxian latches onto his waist, snuggling as close to Lan Wangji as he can. The man not only allows it but pulls him in even closer until they are almost on top of each other.

"Go to sleep, Wei Ying," Lan Wangji whispers into his hair, petting it rhythmically. "Tomorrow, we will go see A-Yuan."

Wei Wuxian can barely nod before his tired eyes slide shut.

He is safe.

He is home.

* * *

There might have been a Wei Wuxian out there who died at the Burial Mounds instead of being taken back to Gusu Lan.

There might have been a Wei Wuxian who had been brought back to life through an unholy ritual and reunited with his childhood friend again.

There even might have been a Wei Wuxian who had considered their friendship blossoming into a deeper more ardent love.

But this is not that story.

* * *

The change is subtle but Lan Yuan begins to notice something wrong with his small, perfect family.

His mother still smiles at him and cuddles him close, teasing him with soft sweet nicknames and telling him silly tall tales to make him laugh. They spend idyllic afternoons building pillow forts out of all the bedding in the Jingshi and creating a safe haven for just the two of them. His father still carries him out to the gardens and even begins to teach him how to play the guqin. Lan Yuan secretly prefers playing dizi like his mother but warmth suffuses his chest when his father gently corrects his finger placement on his much smaller beginner sized guqin and coaches him through the correct sequence of notes to a song.

Nothing seems wrong at first.

Life is perfect.

.

.

.

And this it's not.

One day, Wei Wuxian declines joining them out for their daily walks in the garden, citing an incoming migraine and begging off to stay in the cool quiet tranquility of the Jingshi. Lan Yuan is worried, especially when he sees Lan Wangji's lips tighten perceptibly into a frown. Lan Yuan hopes his mother isn't coming down with something. Being sick is the worst, the small child knows.

Wei Wuxian is fine the next day.

A string of good days.

A few bad days.

His mother develops odd eating habits. Sometimes, Wei Wuxian refuses to eat altogether during their meals despite Lan Wangji's gentle coaxing to take a bite, just one bite. Other times, Wei Wuxian waits for Lan Yuan to eat before he begins eating himself and only from specific dishes. A shard of hurt seems to invade Lan Wangji's eyes during these moments and Lan Yuan can't help but feel a little worried.

Where there seemed to be harmony before now there is discordance. Even Lan Yuan is picking up on the fact that his parents do not seem to be clicking as they once were. It confuses him.

He's playing with his toys in the Jingshi. His mother is reclining on the daybed, watching him as he spins various tops and watches them hit against each other in a dizzying array of motion.

"A-Yuan," Wei Wuxian calls him over and waits for him to obediently trot over into his arms. Lan Yuan cuddles readily into his mother's embrace, always yearning for whatever affection he can get. "I need you to answer a very important question for me and I need you to answer me honestly. Can you do that?"

Something is a little off about Wei Wuxian's tone but Lan Yuan's young mind cannot grasp exactly what. Despite that he can tell that this is a Very Serious matter.

"Alright, Mother," Lan Yuan nods with a very serious expression on his small face. Wei Wuxian manages to crack a smile at that and pinches his child's soft cheeks.

"Do you like it here?"

That's an easy question to answer, Lan Yuan thinks.

"A-Yuan likes it here," his beautiful brilliant child dutifully chirps. "A-Yuan loves his Mama and Father and Uncle Xichen and Great Uncle Qiren!"

"And we all love A-Yuan," Wei Wuxian smiles but it looks so very sad too. The door to the Jingshi opens.

"Father!" Lan Yuan jumps out of his mother's arms and runs to tackle his father's legs. Lan Wangji puts a hand on his back to steady him when he nearly bounces back from the force of his tackle.

"It's time for your guqin lesson, A-Yuan," Lan Wangji says. Lan Yuan nods and allows himself to be picked up into his father's hold.

"Bye, mama!" Lan Yuan waves. His mother's eyes crinkle as he waves back.

Once they are out of earshot, Lan Wangji turns to the child in his arms, "Lan Yuan."

Lan Yuan tilts his head up.

"Yes, father?"

"Did your mother say anything to you?" Golden eyes are staring at him.

Something about his father's gaze makes Lan Yuan's belly feel funny. He doesn't like the feeling.

Lan Yuan shakes his head. "We played with the new tops you bought me, father."

This is the first lie Lan Yuan has ever told in his life.

He doesn't know why he did it.

* * *

Thirteen years.

Wei Wuxian endures thirteen years of captivity.

By then, he is a mere shadow of the man he used to be.

His only source of joy is watching his child grow. His last Wen remnant. The one he will protect until his dying breath. He treasures each and every one of his child's milestones, hoards these memories in his mind, engraves them deep in his heart.

The fact is, Lan Wangji makes it so easy to love him. He offers everything Wei Wuxian has ever wanted on a platter. A family, a home, a place for him to belong to. A little slice of halcyon happiness Lan Wangji has constructed just for him. All for the small small price of his freedom and his free will.

Wei Wuxian wishes Lan Wangji would tear him to pieces, crush him like a flower between those beautiful elegant fingers. It would give Wei Wuxian more of a reason to hate him. But he doesn't. He treats Wei Wuxian like he's something precious, something to be cherished and Wei Wuxian hates it, hates Lan Wangji, hates himself for secretly loving it and wanting more of it.

Lan Wangji has never taken liberties with him, ever the gentleman even though Wei Wuxian knows now how much the other man desires him. No, he's much more sinister with his affections, maintaining just enough distance to drive Wei Wuxian mad.

Each night, Lan Wangji slides into bed with him but does not go further than that. The first few times, Wei Wuxian had tried to kick him out of the room, screaming and shouting loud enough to wake the dead. But night after night, Lan Wangji would come back and share his bed until Wei Wuxian had grown exhausted and just let the man do whatever he wanted.

He grows used to another body sleeping next to his at night. He grows complacent.

And then Lan Wangji begins to talk to him.

"We will build a life together," Lan Wangji promises, voice barely above a whisper into the dark. It's almost a nightly ritual at this point, Lan Wangji spinning stories of what their life could be like if Wei Wuxian just allowed himself to accept what Lan Wangji is giving him. They curl like smoke in the air, wrapping Wei Wuxian in false comfort.

"I will take care of you," Lan Wangji presses into his skin like indelible ink. "I will raise our child with you."

The thing is, Wei Wuxian remembers his time while under the influence of those drugs. He remembers every amorous word Lan Wangji has spoken to him. He has seen how far Lan Wangji's love is willing to go and he has yet to see the bottom line.

Wei Wuxian's being driven insane and he doesn't know how long he can last under this onslaught. There is only so much he can take.

"You are my life, Wei Ying," Lan Wangji murmurs into his hair like secrets and Wei Wuxian knows this is true. "Everything I have, Wei Ying, I give to you."

Until he can't.

Starved of human contact and finally worn down, Wei Wuxian turns to Lan Wangji one night in their bed and kisses him. If the man is surprised by his suddenness, he does not show it. Hands come up to cup his face, slotting them together and pulling him closer. Always closer.

Lan Wangji never needed those drugs. He never needed anything. No, he had Wei Wuxian eating out of the palm of hand the moment he uttered that first promise.

Thirteen years of Lan Wangji getting under his skin.

Thirteen years of this slow, sweet torture.

As Lan Wangji rolls Wei Wuxian under him and begins to strip him of his robes, Wei Wuxian thinks he would have preferred being ripped limb from limb by his corpses.

* * *

Lan Yuan, now given the courtesy name Lan Sizhui, visits his mother when he can in between lessons and training. He is on the cusp of adulthood, nearly ready to embark on night hunts with his fellow junior disciples without supervision. By now, he knows what the seals etched into Wei Wuxian's skin mean. He knows what the resignation in his mother's smoke gray eyes mean. Visiting his mother quickly becomes both a joyous yet sad occasion. He knows why Wei Wuxian has not run off even though he must have thought up a thousand successful escape scenarios already.

The Jingshi, once a place of happiness and joyous laughter, becomes a source of melancholy for Lan Sizhui.

"Mother, I am here," Lan Sizhui says softly, setting down the basket filled with food. He made sure to bring all his mother's favorites. The scent of spices nearly threatens to overwhelm him but he endures it.

The man on the bed slowly sits up. Lan Sizhui bites back a gasp. His mother has gotten so much thinner. Those beautiful silver eyes, so much like his own, has turned to a dull gray like the ashes of a dying fire.

"My little A-Yuan," Wei Wuxian sighs with a tender gaze. "Look at you, you've grown so big now. So tall and handsome."

The hands that come up to cup his face are covered in skin so paper thin that Lan Sizhui can see the green veins that run through them clearly. Like fragile porcelain.

"I brought you something to eat," says Lan Sizhui in the quietest tone he can muster. He fears if he speaks any louder, his mother will blow away like the seeds of a dandelion.

"Such a good son," Wei Wuxian praises, accepting the bowl. "Soon, you'll have a family of your own and won't have time to visit little old me."

"Never," Lan Sizhui promises fervently even as his heart breaks into small pieces at the sight of Wei Wuxian's subtle tremoring hands.

"Do they hurt you, Mother?" Lan Sizhui asks with worry. His hands pat the red painted seals with curiosity. He's asked this question a million times now. And a million time he's received the same answer. But he knows it's a lie at this point.

"No, A-Yuan," Wei Wuxian answers with a small gentle smile and an affectionate pat to Lan Sizhui's head but his voice sounds so very tired. "They don't hurt me."

"They make you very sad though, don't they?" Lan Sizhui feels like a child again as he presses his face into his mother's belly while his fists grip his robe.

Wei Wuxian sighs wearily even as he strokes his child's hair in a rhythmic motion. His little one is always so perceptive, too perceptive for his own good really. Wei Wuxian feels his heart being torn in two when he sees how despondent his child is. This isn't the life he had intended for them. He had promised Granny, Uncle Seven, and the Wen siblings that he would always take care of Lan Yuan but he hadn't realized the depth of Lan Wangji's feelings for him.

He spent every lucid moment he could examining the seals on his body. Every stroke, every line is committed to memory and they don't call him the genius of his generation for nothing. He invented a whole branch of demonic cultivation—figuring out how to undo a couple of seals is child's play. Unfortunately it is not something he can undo without severe repercussions. Keyed into the wards that surround the premises of the Cloud Recesses, if he even so much as touches them with any intention of undoing them or attempts to step foot outside of the Gusu Lan's territory, every Lan elder in the vicinity would be alerted and he would be no doubt punished.

"Do you like it here, mother?" Lan Sizhui asks, an echo of a question his mother had asked him when he was very little.

"You're here, A-Yuan," Wei Wuxian runs his fingers through his child's hair, watching the strands fall through them like sand.

"But, does mother like it here?"

The question makes a long-buried part of Wei Wuxian ache. Picks at a wound long scabbed over but healed incorrectly. He wants to lie, wants to have his child believe that his little family is happy. But then his child turns to him with those eyes that know too much, have seen too much and he can't do it.

"No, A-Yuan," Wei Wuxian crumbles and buries his face into his child's neck. "No, I don't like it here."

"Then mother should go," Lan Sizhui announces firmly. "Please don't worry about me, mother. I will be fine."

They both know that's a lie. Lan Sizhui will face punishment, the likes of which not even Lan Wangji would be able to shield him from. The gesture is appreciated but unnecessary.

"That's very sweet of you to say that, darling," Wei Wuxian indulgently pats his son's cheeks. He really did raise such a filial child worthy of the cloud print headband he wears.

"I am being completely serious, Mother," Lan Sizhui's gray eyes, so much like his own though they are not related by blood, turn serious, "Just say the word and I will help you leave this place."

The odd note of determination in the disciple's voice gives Wei Wuxian pause. His mouth sharpens into a thin line.

"What have you done?" Wei Wuxian asks in a barely audible voice. To his consternation, Lan Sizhui holds his hands, thumb rubbing against the seals meaningfully.

"Nothing that they can catch me for," Lan Sizhui smiles secretively. The boy may be dressed as a Lan, raised as one of their own, but his smile is all Wei Wuxian mischief. "So tell me, mother. Would you like to leave?"

Within moments, Wei Wuxian can guess what Lan Sizhui has done. His perfect son, the pinnacle of the Lan Sect teachings, the esteemed young master and heir of Gusu. His child had built his reputation as Lan Wangji's dutiful son, biding his time for the right moment, and then tampered with the wards without anyone suspecting a thing.

Lan Sizhui pulls out a talisman. Wei Wuxian flinches on instinct before he can stop himself. It's been so long. So very long since he has ever had a thought of freedom. Even a glimmer of hope in this godforsaken cage. And now it's being offered to him, just waiting for his answer.

"Are you ready, mother?" Lan Sizhui asks. Wei Wuxian grasps his child's hands.

It hurts. Of course, it fucking hurts but as each line is broken on his body, he can feel energy welling up and filling his being with power. His eyes bleed crimson lightning as malevolent energy swirls around him, enveloping both him and Lan Yuan in a black haze. God, he missed this feeling.

He feels powerful. He feels like he could bring an entire city to its knees. He feels like _himself_.

"You're free, mother," the smile on Lan Sizhui's face is blinding.

He pulls in his child close, hugging him as tight as possible.

"Thank you," Wei Wuxian whispers into his son's fine black hair. He pulls back quickly. They don't have much time to lose. With the return of his power, it is bound to cause some notice. "Time to go, A-Yuan."

* * *

Luckily Gusu Lan has no shortage of bamboo forests surrounding the area and it's short work to find a suitable young bamboo stalk and carve it into a passable flute. He tests it out and winces at the shrill discordant sound. What he wouldn't give for Chenqing at the moment but beggars couldn't be choosers. Any corpse would do right now and he knows there are always a couple going under questioning and purification in the Hall of Exorcism. Once he's relatively sure that the Lan Sect disciples are distracted with the suddenly active corpses filled with resentful energy, he runs in the opposite direction of the chaos.

"Mother," Lan Sizhui cries out urgently again even as he matches pace with Wei Wuxian. "You have to let me go and save yourself."

"There is no way in hell I am leaving you," Wei Wuxian grits his teeth and urges Lan Sizhui even faster. He knows what will happen to his precious son once the Lan Elders figure out who tampered with the seals. He would be damned if his child ever has to bear a mark on his body from the discipline whip.

With Lan Sizhui's whispered directions, it's a mad dash toward the nearest exit out of the compound. Unfortunately, they do not get very far when Wei Wuxian catches the sight of white sleeves billowing in his periphery. Uttering a bitten off curse, he wheels around to face Lan Wangji.

Wei Wuxian knows he isn't going to win in a head on fight against Lan Wangji. He's just gotten his powers back, he's physically weak from malnourishment and lacks a golden core at that. Luckily, he doesn't have to win—he just has to distract Lan Wangji long enough for him and Lan Sizhui to escape.

"Wei Ying!" Lan Wangji calls out to him urgently.

"Well, you found me faster than I expected," Wei Wuxian pulls Lan Yuan closer to his body in protection. Lan Wangji would have to kill him first if he wanted to trap him back in that miserable room. Lan Sizhui grips him tightly, either in fear or worry for him.

"Wei Ying, please don't make me do this," his fingers are poised on his infernal guqin but Wei Wuxian is already two steps ahead of him, playing out a shrill tune that commands the corpses to knock the instrument from his hands and restrain the other man.

Lan Wangji may be the number one cultivator of their generation but he is still vastly outnumbered by Wei Wuxian's corpses and in short time, they have him kneeling down on the loamy earth unable to move a single muscle. Each time Lan Wangji struggles, the corpses' grips grow tighter until his bones creak ominously.

Wei Wuxian lowers his makeshift flute and turns around.

"Wei Ying!" Lan Wangji screams at him with tears in his eyes, causing Wei Wuxian to startle. "Don't go!"

He struggles futilely against the undead hands holding him down.

"We're leaving and you can't stop us," Wei Wuxian hisses resentfully and squeezes Lan Yuan's hand hard enough in his that his son lets out a whimper. Lan Wangji tries to catch the eyes of his child but Lan Sizhui refuses to lift his head up from where he has it buried in his mother's shoulder.

"Please!" Lan Wangji begs, expression a sad torn thing. "I love you, Wei Ying!"

Love, love. He's sick and tired of Lan Wangji's fucked up sense of love. Thirteen years of resentment brewing in Wei Wuxian's chest and he explodes now that he is finally able to.

"Love?" Wei Wuxian lets out an incredulous laugh of derision. "What love? You call this love? You trapped me in your thrice damned sect and make me play docile homemaker with your drugs and your rules. Tell me, Hanguang Jun. Was it fun? Was it fun to have the Yiling Patriarch submitting to your every little whim?"

The use of his title as opposed to his birth name catches Lan Wangji like a whip, leaving him stunned.

"It wasn't like that!" Lan Wangji denies vehemently. "I just wanted to keep you safe! You have to believe me."

They're running out of time. They need to leave now before reinforcements come. By now, their disappearance must have been noted.

"I believe you," Wei Wuxian answers darkly. "I believe that you and this entire sect can rot in hell."

"You don't ever have to love me back!" Lan Wangji continues undeterred. "You don't even have to look at me for the rest of your life if that's what you want but please don't go!"

Despite himself, Wei Wuxian falters for a moment. For thirteen long years, this was the man he had lived with, whom he had raised a child with. Thirteen years of resentment had cultivated inside Wei Wuxian's heart but so had familiarity.

"I'm sorry," Wei Wuxian says softly and turns away into the forest.

"Wei Ying! Wei Ying! WEI YING!"

Wei Wuxian shuts his eyes tightly and disappears into the night.


	3. Chapter 3

They run until they cannot run anymore and then they continue forward even though each step is agony for Wei Wuxian. The initial burst of resentful energy is slowly being used up, the years of inactivity finally catching up to him. Lan Sizhui must notice this too and begins to search for a resting point.

They stop at a nearby inn on the outskirts of Gusu Lan. Luckily, Wei Wuxian had the foresight to steal one of Lan Wangji's money pouches before taking off. He pays a premium for a room and some food but the innkeeper promises them quiet and discretion.

It isn't until they are finally sequestered in their room that Wei Wuxian can relax. He collapses straightaway onto the bed and drags a hand over his eyes. Burying his face into a pillow, an incredulous laugh forces its way out of his throat. He can't believe it. They did it. They are finally free from Lan Wangji's dominion.

His heart feels fit to burst from the sheer emotion and he quickly bolts back up, hugging Lan Sizhui close to him in elation. His son shares in his joy, hugging him back and snuggling into his embrace like he always does.

"We're free, A-Yuan," Wei Wuxian smiles at his precious baby. "We can go anywhere we want, do anything we want."

"I'll follow wherever you go, mother," the boy promises with his own soft smile. Wei Wuxian beams and

The food arrives in short order. It's simple fare, nothing too fancy in an inn like this but for the first time in a while, Wei Wuxian is ravenous so he eats with gusto and motions for Lan Sizhui to do the same.

To his delight, they even have a few jars of Emperor's Smile which Wei Wuxian purchases and then offers a cup to Lan Sizhui who politely declines. The atmosphere is light and cheery as Wei Wuxian polishes off two jars with relish.

Wei Wuxian begins to describe his boyhood adventures, places he's been to, places he's always wanted to see. Lan Sizhui listens attentively, smiling gently as he offers his own input on their next destination. The world is their oyster and Wei Wuxian can't wait to set out tomorrow. Perhaps they can even make a stop at Lotus Pier eventually once Wei Wuxian finds out if Jiang Cheng is still cursing his name to the high heavens.

The meal is almost finished when Wei Wuxian begins to feel an uncharacteristic lethargy settle in his bones. His vision goes hazy at the edges. The day is catching up to him. He must be tired.

It isn't until he feels a thrumming pulse in his temple that he stares up at Lan Sizhui who looks brokenly at him.

"Oh, A-Yuan," Wei Wuxian breathes in muted terror. "Tell me you didn't."

To his dismay, his son begins to silently cry. Tears rain down like pearls in the wake of his devastation.

"Forgive me, mother," Lan Sizhui sobs.

"Why?"

"I just want us to be happy," Lan Sizhui explains in tears, hands over his face. "We were so happy, mother. Why couldn't we have just continued to have good days?"

Wei Wuxian tries to stand up but his unresponsive feet slip under him and he falls. Lan Sizhui catches him before he tumbles to the ground. Slowly, Lan Sizhui lowers them both to the ground, cradling Wei Wuxian in his arms as they sit on the cold wooden floor. Wei Wuxian tries to move but his hands are growing heavier. He can barely feel them. Soon, he will be nothing more than a doll.

He looks up into his son's face, so very close to his own.

"You truly are your father's son," Wei Wuxian says but there is no hint of malice in his tone, just a tired sort of resignation. Nonetheless, Lan Sizhui reels back as if slapped, anguish in every line of his visage.

The last thing Wei Wuxian sees before he falls into the darkness is the door opening and golden eyes staring into his own.

"I need you to do something for me. Do you see these seals?"

"Yes," Lan Yuan nods.

"But I haven't started cultivation training yet," Lan Yuan wrinkles his nose.

"I know, baby, I know," Wei Wuxian is quick to assure him, "But you don't need much power and it's not hard at all. I'll tell you how to do it and I'll lead you through every single step."

"M-Mama," Lan Yuan replies unsurely, "I-I don't think I should be doing this. What if Father gets mad?"

It both breaks Wei Wuxian's heart and angers him to pieces to see how much sway Lan Wangji has over Lan Yuan.

"Mama," Lan Yuan sobs, holding the knife, "I'm scared."

"I am so sorry," Wei Wuxian is crying along with him. "I know you're scared A-Yuan, but I need you to do this for me. And then we can go on our trip together. Just you and me. Can you be brave for me, A-Yuan?"

His sweet little child, his loyal soldier, takes a deep breath and steels his face. The knife in his hands stops trembling.

"Sweetheart, listen to me carefully," Wei Wuxian orders him, "As soon as you take those seals off, we need to run."


End file.
